Before we discuss the essential elements of "true forgiveness", let's first take a look at the roots of unforgiveness, that give rise to a need for it in our lives. The core of unforgiveness, lies in the guilt and fear that are contained deep within our “ego” identities. From birth to approximately 6-7 years old, we are open receivers, and the things that we see, hear and experience during that time serve to make up a substantial portion of our conscious and subconscious “self-identity”...which we then carry into adolescence and adulthood. Our perceptions of who we are, our self-worth, and how we respond to others and our world, are all rooted in those initial experiences (along with certain highly emotionally charged events that occur in our lives afterward, that support them). This is why Jesus stated that we must be “born again”, and come to the Kingdom as little children, in order for our perceptions to be changed and transformed. It is this change in perception, through practicing the principles of “true forgiveness” that opens the door to the truth of who we truly are in God and eternity. It allows us to make that connection to the Divine truths of unity, gratitude, love and compassion, that provide us with a lasting sense of peace and joy that cannot be shaken.

 

Simple mental assent to forgive, while a good first step, does not go to the root of the issue. Until the conscious and subconscious feelings of guilt, pain, betrayal, and judgment are released, there is no lasting benefit or peace that results. The feelings and emotions that are still attached, will simply resurface again in current or future relationships and circumstances. They may appear different to us, but the root is always the same. We are often not even aware that this past conditioning, is manifesting in our present-day circumstances and controlling how we experience life. All of the guilt, resentment, anger, hurt, regret, upset, and desire for vengeance are merely being suppressed, and waiting to be released on someone else, or in some other form as we go through life.

​

“True Forgiveness” is inspired in the heart, out of love and compassion. Of necessity, it requires getting beyond our mental picture of the “ego” self, and bringing our thoughts, feelings AND emotions into complete harmony and coherence with our Divine Source and “higher self”. It is not something that is earned. It is freely given as an act of love and compassion, that is borne through self-love, and a knowledge of who we truly are. Our perceptions then begin to change, as we see that everything that we project onto ourselves and others, and everything that is projected onto us by others, have only one of two meanings...they are either an extension OF love, or a call FOR love. Extensions OF love come through Divinely inspired truth, while calls FOR love are “ego” inspired illusions stemming from guilt and fear. Oftentimes, our biggest barrier lies in forgiving ourselves, first and foremost.

​

The effects of practicing “true forgiveness” are reflected in virtually every area of our life...mentally/psychologically, emotionally, physically and spiritually. It frees us to experience life in the present moment, without being held in bondage to past experiences, and the fear that we carry regarding future expectations. It reverses what the “ego” has created as our truth. No longer do we view ourselves or others with judgments that involve attack, threat, vengeance or punishment. Rather, we view everything through the lens of gratitude, love and compassion. It is a permanent change within us, not a temporary outward sense of “doing the right thing”. Unforgiveness also creates an energetic bond between the perceived “perpetrator” and us as the “victim”, holding both people hostage to its negative and destructive force. True forgiveness forever breaks that bond, and both parties are then set free. This creates fertile ground for permanent change and transformation to take place in both individuals!

​

The final result from practicing and meditating on these principles continually, through whatever means available, is a heart and mind that are forever transformed. An ongoing sense of gratitude, love, compassion and peace now become our natural state of “being”. We no longer carry with us a victim mentality, looking for worst case scenarios, or the next “fight or flight” situation to trigger those suppressed feelings and emotions. We are no longer subject to people and things external to us controlling how we think, feel and experience life. We recognize that we are victors in life, not victims, and take personal responsibility for our own sense of well-being. We see that we truly ARE all connected, and one in the Christ mind. We can then live in the present moment, unencumbered by the baggage of our past. No longer “self-absorbed”, we don’t take anything personally. Rather, we view everything as either an extension of love, or a call for love. We can now freely give and express our God-given giftings and talents to benefit others, as we maintain that miracle-working connection with our Divine Source.